What I Miss The Most

Don’t get me wrong I miss you, the person you were when we were together, but what I miss the most is having someone who gets me more than I get myself. You don’t find these types of people that often. You understood me. For whatever reason it was, you always seemed to understand what I was feeling or thinking, even when I didn’t quite understand myself.

I do however miss laughing over stupid stuff. I miss having someone that I would look forward to seeing, and being happy when I would wake up in the morning just because I was able to talk to you, but I guess these things can be replaced. Someone else will make me laugh, I’ll look forward to seeing someone else, and waking up happy to talk to them. Not now of course, but in the distant future there will be someone else. Someone else will make me happy just like you used to. I’m not ready for that yet, but I know he’s out there somewhere. What can I say I will forever be a hopeless romantic.

Maybe we didn’t agree on much. Actually I’m sure we didn’t agree on 99 percent of things, but we fell in love despite our differences. And boy did we have a lot of differences, but I always thought it made our relationship interesting. What we had was real, although it didn’t work out it was the realest relationship I’ve ever had. Maybe that was for the best that it didn’t work out between us. Maybe in the distant future we will see each other and we will have completely new lives, filled with completely new people, and it will be completely different than the lives we had when were together. If that happens I won’t be bitter towards you, but instead I will smile at you with pure happiness and I’ll remember how I made your last semester in America special. I wish nothing but for you to be happy. The best kind of love is the love that lets you see the sun when all you saw was clouds. It’s the kind of love that makes your life go upward when you thought that wasn’t even possible. That’s what you gave me.

So maybe that’s what I miss the most. Having someone influence my life as much as you did. Or maybe I miss all the little things. Holding hands, cuddling in my cozy bed, being a couple, etc. Or maybe I’m just strung out on all the memories of us. Maybe I miss the memories more than I actually miss you. I think when people get out of relationships they make the memories with that person a lot better than they actually were.

You still gave me the best kind of love there is regardless of everything that happened between us and I’m forever grateful for that. No matter what was said between us. I’m happy it happened and I don’t regret a single thing. To me it was all worth it. Even the heartache I am experiencing now. If I knew this is how it ended between us I would still kiss you in that bar and fall head over heals for you. I’ve learned so much from our relationship.

I guess I don’t know what I miss the most. It’s a mixture of things and I know that I eventually won’t miss all these things. I do however think our paths crossed for a reason.  Maybe it will guide us to the next place we are supposed to go.

Maybe we were never meant to be, but regardless of everything I sure as hell enjoyed every second I had with you.


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