Dear Men, Catcalling Needs To Stop

Dear Men,

Let me first start by giving you the dictionary definition of what “Catcalling” is.

“Make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by.”

Have you done this before? Probably. So let me give you some worldly advice to stop doing this. I can’t speak for all women, but I would say that most women, if not all don’t like it. Making comments to us only makes us feel uncomfortable, and if you really need to say anything to us just say a simple “hello”. While I understand that maybe not every man does this, you have to understand how annoying it is to be a woman, and have man constantly shout inappropriate things at you. You would be shocked at the things that men have said to me before.

Maybe “catcalling” doesn’t sound as if it’s a bad thing to you and it’s just men hitting on women, men flirting with women, men complimenting women, or however you want to justify it. To me it cannot be justified and it is never OK in my eyes. If you have never experienced being catcalled then you do not understand how frightening it is to be catcalled as a woman.

Let me give you a vulgar example just incase you don’t think catcalling is that big of a deal.  One time my friends and I were leaving the bar. We were waiting outside for our uber to arrive when a man comes up to us. This is what he said, “Let me put this big black cock inside of you.” I’m not exaggerating. Those words actually came out of his mouth.

Why is this socially acceptable? Do you want to know how many times I am grabbed, touched, harassed, and shouted something sexual at when I am at a bar. It would go on forever, because I could not even tell you how many times it happens to me in ONE night. It is as if men feel like they own my body. I do not care how much you are drinking, it should never be OK to touch my body. So why is it? Do you want to tell me it is because what I am wearing? That I deserve it? Why can I not walk down the street without being whistled at?

It isn’ just when we go out on Friday and Saturday night’s to the bar. It is constantly. Sometimes it feels like I cannot even walk outside without someone making a comment to me. You do not know what it feels like walking down the street and at least 15 men either approach you, say something sexual to you, or overall just creep you out. These questions haunt me every time someone makes a sexual comment to me or touches me. Walking down the street there is ALWAYS someone who yells something. It usually goes like this, “Damn girl, you fine” Or “Nice ass..” Or the usual whistle that you think we like. Please stop. Women do not like it. We never will. But it’s even worse when we go to the bars. I am dressed for myself. I am not dressed for your attention, nor will I ever dress for your attention. Don’t act like you own my body. You don’t.

Sometimes I don’t even want to go to the bars on the weekend, because of men that harass me. I don’t want you to touch me. I don’t want you to grab my ass. I don’t want you to stand in front of me so I can’t get around you. Because somehow a simple no from me is never good enough for you. I have to make up that I have a boyfriend, which sometimes I’ve been told “well, I have a girlfriend so who cares”. I do actually. And I am pretty sure your girlfriend would too. Or that I am lesbian with my best friend that I am with just so you leave me alone, but that never goes well because then you ask us to prove it. Why can’t I just tell you that I’m not interested? Then you say “Okay sorry” and walk away. Don’t harass me. Don’t call me a bitch because I don’t want to dance with you. Just leave me alone.

Being afraid to walk down the street alone because you don’t know if something will happen to you is a sad world to live in. Whether it’s men screaming out of their car, men making sexual comments as you walk by, or even a man who starts to follow you (yes, this does happen) it’s terrifying.

Would you want your mother, daughter, sister,wife, or, girlfriend to feel like this when they walk down the street or go out to the bars? Hopefully your answer is no, but don’t change your behaviors just because we’re females. Rather, because we’re human beings, and not objects to be possessed. We don’t deserve that treatment, no one deserves that treatment.

Sincerely, Women Everywhere.

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